If you have never been in counseling or have had an unpleasant experience but are considering giving it another, try, I hope this post may give you encouragement. It can feel scary to think about opening up about very difficult and personal issues under the best of circumstances. And going to meet with a person you do not know in order to do this can seem hard to get over. This is why doing your due diligence is important. Do not just go with the therapist that a friend recommends (although you certainly should consider them). Research a variety of sites of counseling practices. In reading the content of the site, does it present description that feels compatible with what you are looking for in a counseling relationship? Next, read the bios of the practitioners. Do the areas that they work with and their description of their approach sound like a good match?

Most good practices will offer a free consultation, either by phone or in person, before you decide about choosing a particular counselor. A preliminary consultation of this type is not a therapy session. There will be no expectation for you to share more than in a basic way what brings you to counseling. You can even look at it as your opportunity to “interview” the counselor. This is to give you a chance to ask any questions that you may have and to get clarification from the therapists themselves about how they might approach your individual needs.

Once you have gathered the information, as mentioned above, hopefully you may not feel quite so nervous about taking the next step and setting up an appointment. Remember, make the best decision you can with the information you have – if you have a session or two and do not feel it is a good match, you can always switch to a new therapist.

When you have made the appointment, the next challenge is dealing with your expectations about how things will go. Generally speaking, a therapist will, first and foremost, only move at the pace you are comfortable with – particularly regarding the more difficult issues you may need to address. You should have a feeling from your therapist that you are “in control” of how things progress. It may be reassuring for you to know that the first few sessions are often focused on what might be called information gathering or assessment of your experiences, needs and goals. In addition, another message, spoken and unspoken, that you should be getting from your therapist is that they are open to you asking questions about your therapy or sharing your feelings about something that happened in therapy.

As you experience the first few sessions with a positive feeling, you may hopefully feel reassured that you are on the right path. The journey of therapy and healing will not be easy, please do not think I am saying that. However, if you have found the right person that you are comfortable working with, your journey, though often difficult, will be worth the potential life-changing experience you will create. And best of all, you do not have to take that journey alone.