What does it mean to be “stuck”? While it’s different for everyone, it usually refers to the inability to move in a positive direction. From accomplishing tasks, to changing thinking patterns and relationship dynamics, it can be frustrating when it feels like we just cannot seem to make progress.

I hear this a lot from clients, often coupled with feelings of frustration, anger, guilt, shame and thoughts of ‘why bother’? The problem being addressed is then compounded by these feelings. It can seem like a never-ending cycle – lather, rinse, repeat. If we can step back and look at this differently, could the ‘stuckness” be due in part, to wanting to get to the result now, and feelings of ‘I should’ be further along? What would happen if, instead, we focused on moving forward just a little?

Brief Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) emphasizes our strengths and resources to make positive changes; we focus on what we want in the future (vs. focusing on the past) and identify ways to get there. SFT uses a variety of techniques to achieve this.

My favorite SFT technique is Scaling which provides us with a simple, effective method to evaluate and examine our perceptions and progress. Scaling asks us to focus on the small steps and wins on our way to goals. Using scaling can help us clearly identify goals, resources, and strategies and allows us to measure progress.

Example Question: “On a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 means you feel completely overwhelmed by anxiety and 10 means you feel no anxiety at all, where would you place yourself right now?”

Once we rate where we are at, we can explore why we chose this number, and what has influenced that decision? Has it been a stressful week? Is there an event coming up that makes us nervous? Further questions for exploration include:

“Why did I choose that number and not a lower one?”
“What am I doing that helps me stay at that number and not lower?”
“What would it take to move up one point on the scale?”

By identifying small, achievable steps that could help us move that needle one point, and putting them into action, we are no longer stuck – lather, rinse, repeat! This empowers us and reminds us that we are capable, resilient and have tools and resources to help us. What can you do today to move the needle?

If you think you can benefit from SFT, explore more with us at StarPoint Counseling.