Saying goodbye to pet is never easy. When we made the decision to say goodbye to our cat Sydney, she was 25 years old and had been with us since right before we got married. Sydney had been with us through so many things – both in our personal lives and throughout history. Like most of our fur babies she was a source of comfort and joy…and could also be a real pain in the butt! During our first military move, she made it known how unhappy she was with the move by peeing on us in the middle of the night. It was only once – and I truly believe she was letting us know exactly how she felt.

Losing a pet can be just as devastating as losing a person. Our pets become such an integral part of our lives. They are there through the moves, the job changes, the joys and heartaches, meeting new friends and saying goodbye to the old ones, the happy times, and the hardest times. They have unconditional love for us and we for them. The bond between pets and owners is truly unique and the choice to love and raise a pet is truly an act of love. It is no wonder that when we say goodbye to our pets, it is a deeply profound loss.

According to Psychology Today, research has shown that the loss of a pet, especially one that is considered family and a companion, can be just as devastating if not more so than the loss of an individual and self-care while grieving is a key to coping with pet loss. It is important to understand that many factors influence grief and loss such as religious beliefs and culture. Each person in the family or household must be allowed and encouraged to grieve in their own way.

Along with allowing and accepting everyone’s way of grieving, it is important during this time to take care of oneself. Self-care during times of grief may look different for everyone and while there is no way to predict how long grief will last, kindness and compassion for yourself can help you through the process. A good therapist can also help coming to terms with the loss of your pet. Personally, I have had several clients come to me specifically to deal with pet loss. At Star Point Counseling we can help you discover what helps you on your journey as everyone grieves different losses uniquely. If you are struggling with pet loss please reach out and/or visit the following links that may be helpful.

As you experience the first few sessions with a positive feeling, you may hopefully feel reassured that you are on the right path. The journey of therapy and healing will not be easy, please do not think I am saying that. However, if you have found the right person that you are comfortable working with, your journey, though often difficult, will be worth the potential life-changing experience you will create. And best of all, you do not have to take that journey alone.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201702/7-self-care-essentials-while-grieving-the-death-pet

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/grief_support_center/grief_support_home.htm

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/pet-death.html

If you have never been in counseling or have had an unpleasant experience but are considering giving it another, try, I hope this post may give you encouragement. It can feel scary to think about opening up about very difficult and personal issues under the best of circumstances. And going to meet with a person you do not know in order to do this can seem hard to get over. This is why doing your due diligence is important. Do not just go with the therapist that a friend recommends (although you certainly should consider them). Research a variety of sites of counseling practices. In reading the content of the site, does it present description that feels compatible with what you are looking for in a counseling relationship? Next, read the bios of the practitioners. Do the areas that they work with and their description of their approach sound like a good match?

Most good practices will offer a free consultation, either by phone or in person, before you decide about choosing a particular counselor. A preliminary consultation of this type is not a therapy session. There will be no expectation for you to share more than in a basic way what brings you to counseling. You can even look at it as your opportunity to “interview” the counselor. This is to give you a chance to ask any questions that you may have and to get clarification from the therapists themselves about how they might approach your individual needs.

Once you have gathered the information, as mentioned above, hopefully you may not feel quite so nervous about taking the next step and setting up an appointment. Remember, make the best decision you can with the information you have – if you have a session or two and do not feel it is a good match, you can always switch to a new therapist.

When you have made the appointment, the next challenge is dealing with your expectations about how things will go. Generally speaking, a therapist will, first and foremost, only move at the pace you are comfortable with – particularly regarding the more difficult issues you may need to address. You should have a feeling from your therapist that you are “in control” of how things progress. It may be reassuring for you to know that the first few sessions are often focused on what might be called information gathering or assessment of your experiences, needs and goals. In addition, another message, spoken and unspoken, that you should be getting from your therapist is that they are open to you asking questions about your therapy or sharing your feelings about something that happened in therapy.

As you experience the first few sessions with a positive feeling, you may hopefully feel reassured that you are on the right path. The journey of therapy and healing will not be easy, please do not think I am saying that. However, if you have found the right person that you are comfortable working with, your journey, though often difficult, will be worth the potential life-changing experience you will create. And best of all, you do not have to take that journey alone.

It’s important to be able to regulate our emotions. In order to move through issues that are bothering us or to heal, we need to feel our emotions. Stuffing them down is not going to help because eventually, they’re going to come out somehow.

Click the video below to learn more!