My freshman year of college I was depressed, navigating a breakup, and adjusting to my first semester of school. My friend (now husband) suggested I go to therapy. I knew nothing about therapy as mental health was a taboo subject in my upbringing – but I did go and over time it did help.

One of the questions most often asked is “How will I know if therapy is working?” In my experience, many clients start therapy looking to immediately find solutions to problems or thinking that suddenly there will be an “Aha” moment and therapy will have done its job. If only it were that simple and obvious.

Therapy is a journey, never linear, with lots of detours and interesting finds along the way to some type of change or resolution. Many times, therapy is working and clients are not even aware of the shifts that are happening.

So, what are some of the key signs that therapy is working?

• You develop rapport with your therapist and start to build a trusting, honest relationship. This is the most important predictor of a successful therapeutic relationship.

• You start to become aware of things…thoughts, feelings, how people react and respond to you and to others.

• You adjust your reactions and responses to this new awareness.

• You are open to trying different tools to help you cope and find out whether they work. If something doesn’t work, that is information. Information is useful in your journey and helps you discover things about yourself.

• You become aware of patterns of thinking and behavior.

• You do something different than what you have always done.

• You can feel your feelings and describe emotions.

• You press pause. The awareness you have gained allows you to respond instead of reacting. The pause gives you that moment to choose something different that can be helpful to you.

• Sometimes you feel better just having someone to listen to you without judgement.

These signs are just some indications that therapy is working for you. Continued collaboration with your therapist, utilizing what works for you, and recognizing what doesn’t will help you on your journey. Small, consistent changes over time usually lead to big results and change. It happens gradually, almost magically. That’s not to say it doesn’t take work on your part…. AND it may be working more than you think.

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